Tag Archives: star wars

1-855-FANBOY

Hello, I’m Brad Antilles. You may remember me from some of my previous works in the Holocron industry, such as “How I Met Your Sith Father” and “Everybody Loves Ewoks.” Those shows may have been fun to laugh at, but right now I’d like to talk to you about a more serious and important matter.

Did you know that 1 out of 5 people on Earth have never seen the original Star Wars trilogy? 1 out of 5. That’s approximately 1.5 billion people who have never seen the Death Star trench run, the legendary lightsaber duels, and witness George Lucas utterly ruin the hopes and dreams of fanboys everywhere.

These people live in a sheltered and unhappy life, filled with a void that cannot be replaced by any other fictional masterpieces. There was once a time where the saga of Star Wars was heard by children and adults all over the world, and that time is nearing its end. But you can help.

Right now there’s a closeted nerd, waiting to scream out into the world, who needs you. An innocent  person with a heart and soul, living in loneliness, boredom, and a hunger to obsess over anything. You can reach out to a fellow nerd and fill their dark void with dignity and hope.

This is Marc. He’s grown up with Pokemon and Spiderman, but not once has he ever understood the reason why bullies at school would call him a “scruffy nerfherder.” To quench his thirst for entertainment, he would watch reruns of Buffy and awkwardly chat up girls who are way out of his league. But if he had Star Wars in his life? He would have the confidence and the courage to fight his battles, looking onto brave heroes like Luke Skywalker for motivation.

Eighty cents of every dollar that you donate to the Star Wars For All Fund will go towards purchasing necessary items for these impovershed nerds; things like DVD’s, comic books, and action figures. Call our hotline at 1-855-FANBOY to send us your donation. That’s right, just a simple phone call can not only enlighten the life of a fellow nerd, but it can also help you gain a +3 in Force Abilities.

How would your life be different without the magic of Star Wars? Think about it for a minute. Don’t hold off for a week, a day, or even one parsec. Call now.

A Brief Description of Star Wars Day

...Or else this lightsaber goes up your ass.

It was a joyous day for nerds across the galaxy.

Intergalactic Star Wars Day, also recognized by “normal” people as May 4th, is a holiday made by fans and for fans to celebrate Star Wars and its many inspiring characters, diverse planetary systems, quirky droids, and powerful space ships. Since the inception of the franchise in 1977, fans young and old have increasingly delved themselves in the Star Wars universe, inspiring novels and video games based on their all-time favorite movie.

This year, the nerd-bridled holiday will take on a special significance. 30 years ago was the theatrical release of ‘The Empire Strikes Back’, one of the most famously anticipated sequels of all time. ‘Empire’ brought in new pivotal characters of great importance to the series, such as the wise old Jedi Master Yoda, the dangerous bounty hunter Boba Fett, the suave and charming Lando Calrissian, and the evil and tyrannical Emperor Palpatine. Aside from the new slew of characters, the most mind-boggling plot twist in the story took place in this sequel, when Darth Vader tells Luke Skywalker the terrible truth of their familial relationship.

You mean the hot girl that I.... NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

To a typical nerd, May 4th is a day for them to publicly come out to the world of their affection for the movie series. Many wear costumes, host movie screenings, or duel with toy lightsabers at the nearest park. It is a day long anticipated each year, even to this writer.

My ideal Star Wars party would not only include movie screenings and lightsaber dueling, but also a themed dinner. Blue milk, Cream of Womprat soup, fried Mynock wings, Gizka steak, and a nice warm slice of Bilaberry Patooga. Mmm…. Patooga. I’m getting hungry.

No matter what planet you’re on, what species you are, or whether your allegiance lies with the Rebel Alliance or the Galactic Empire, I wish all of you had a very eventful and magical Star Wars Day.

May the 4th be with you. Always.

A Jewish scriptwriter, a Stormtrooper, and a percussionist walk into a blog post…

So, a new quarter begins. I’m only taking one class, and one class only: Intermediate Scriptwriting.

The instructor is a guy named Barak Goldman, who was once heavily involved in the industry and still does some work in Hollywood from time to time (at least I think). Funny as hell, it’s always fun to be in his classes. But it’s gonna be hard as fuck, too. In my last quarter, each student was only expected to complete the first ten pages of their script and we had an easy teacher. This quarter, we’re to complete 30 pages and be graded as if it were really being analyzed by a script reader in Hollywood. It’s going to be CRAZY difficult, but I think I’ll enjoy it a lot and it would help me be an awesome writer. We’ll see what happens. I might end up succumbing to the stress and find a nerdy way to off myself.

Bacon overdose: I regret nothing.

In other news, job hunting is the suck right now. I’ve been in a flurry of application signings and the like, and no one just seems to want to hire. Not just me specifically, but nobody at all. Stupid employees. Stop being so damn good at your job. I want a turn.

So today (after a delicious and spontaneous lasagna lunch at my dad’s work), I went around to some comic shops I know of in the city just in the SLIM chance that they would want some helping hands. Not to my surprise, nobody was hiring. However, now I know where I’ll be going for Free Comic Book Day (May 1st). I can hang out with the 501st Legion, Rebel troops, and Browncoats!

It's the 501st, on May 1st! Get it? May 1st -> 5.01? That's clever. They're so clever. Hah hah.

If you’re in my part of town and you’re interested in geeking out on May 1st, hit me up in the comments and I’ll tell you where to go.

BUT ANYWAY.

I visited my old drum instructor Chris, who works at a local drum shop called Lemmon Percussion. We caught up, talked about old times, stuff like that. It was really cool to chill with him again. He brought up a few clinics and new products in the store, and I offered my camcorder to help record these things and put them up on their website. He seemed to like that idea. Watch out, internet: more of my video crap might appear on your pages, but it’ll be PROFESSIONALISH.


 

 

Music: "Sleepyhead" - Passion Pit