Internet, I’m going to tell you a story. You may have heard this one before, for it is common among all who dedicate themselves to the screens of their phones, monitors and laptops for hours a day.
Once, there was a young man named Rudy. Rudy is not married, but is in a stable long-term relationship with his girlfriend Penny, and they share a condo in Phoenix. He is a university student working on his B.A. in Business Management, and his girlfriend is attending Med School. Both work part-time jobs to keep up with the bills and tuition fees, and for the meager food they put on their table. Even though they hardly keep any money for themselves, they’re as happy as can be.
One day, Rudy signs onto his Facebook account to check on his friends and family back home in San Francisco. At least, he tries to. He opens the homepage and suddenly sees a popup on his screen he had never seen before, but it bared the Facebook name and logo. On the popup it says, “Due to the passage of the Net Neutrality Bill, you are now going to be charged for your monthly or yearly usage of this website. Please click “Continue” to have your already low budget shrivel to nothing.”
This was once an important website to Rudy, one that helped him keep in close touch with his loved ones from a distance. With the passage of this bill, he couldn’t even log onto YouTube, or Google, or even chat on video or text with his family using Skype, without an ad popping up for a great membership deal of $9.99 per month.
What was once fun and exciting about the internet was gone for Rudy. Not one week had passed, and he dropped out of school, left his girlfriend, and joined a traveling circus to live out the rest of his sad and lonely life as a Frowny Clown.
The lesson here, Internet? Don’t let men in expensive suits, who know hardly anything at all about the Internet and what it means to you, tell you how to use it. (www.eff.org)
Goodnight, Internet. Sleep tight. If you hear strange noises from Mommy and Daddy’s room, don’t worry: we’re just watching cute kitten videos on YouTube.
Music: Rancid - "Time Bomb"