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Poking in Eberron: Summary #2

Welcome back, adventurers. Last we left our intrepid crew, we bravely defended a trading post and scouted the lands for danger and cleared them out. As also to note from last week, I had to leave the game early to attend to family matters, so things happened after. As far as I could recall, the cleric we met at the trading outpost successfully led us to his missing temple, but now we somehow owe the Fey that live in the forest some bribes? I didn’t fully find out how or why, but then again I’m not the wisest or most intelligent character, so maybe it works for my character’s personality to be left in the dark ­čśŤ

I should also note that our wizard Wiam had to leave the game for good, so now the party is down to Ottaman, Issa, Lark, and Vash.

So to start from this week, Vash finally catches up with the rest of the party at the steps of the temple (“Good to see you, Vash! Uh…. where are your pants?” / “Don’t ask.”) and continues with them to scout the surrounding areas for trouble. On our first night camping, our witch Issa is attacked by a lycanthrope while on watch, and we all take a couple of turns to smack him around to unconsciousness even without the protection of our armor. Our Paladin Ottaman, being the typical Paladin, refused to kill a defenseless creature and so we left it tied up until it reverted to its human shape. Daylight comes and he turns back into a human, but our heal checks fail to wake him up. I leave behind one of my painted headshots with an autograph, and the rope is cut and we leave him then and there.

Like what we should have done to Nicolas Cage before he ruined movies.

After that exciting little encounter, we continue our journey south and further into the dense forest. We stumble into a grove later in the day that held some delicious (re: not poisonous) mushrooms.

And we all know who loved those.

Problem was, a Boggart and a Slurk thought those were theirs, and so a tense standoff occurred. The Boggart, only knowing enough Common to speak “You go!”, didn’t seem to convince our (yet again) stubborn Paladin to stay away, and he made the grab for the mushrooms. Lark grappled him for purposefully trying to be an idiot, but by then it was too late and the two creatures made their attack.

A few turns in with some damage distributed all around (and with Vash dealing a critical blow to the Boggart), Issa decided to send down his raven familiar to pick up a dropped weapon. Right as the raven made the swoop down…. CRUNCH. Slurk noms on it with spectacular precision. Once both enemy combatants have low health, Lark deals a fatal cleave attack and they both drop.

Don't. Fuck. With tree-things.

We gather some gems from the Boggarts nest, a dropped Morningstar and the mushrooms and leave, happily munching on them as Issa cries and whines for the loss of his (beloved?) bird.

We decide to travel back to Oleg’s trading outpost, having finished exploring this section of land. On our way we drop off the most expensive gem to the Temple that was recently discovered in order to pay off the Fey. We later encounter a fairy dragon and its little cricket-man friend, whom apparently are the recipients of the bribes and came to thank us for our gift. Vash unsuccessfully tries to flirt with the fairy dragon.

"Hey, are those real?"
"Maybe you should go away before I kill you."
"Ok."

They ask us to bring them candy and Mead, so we remember to do just that.

Having arrived back at the trading outpost, Issa comes to realize that without a familiar and with really shitty spell choices, he is pretty much useless. Issa leaves the party for good, and our player David rolls up a new character that doesn’t suck so goddam terribly. He eventually decides on an elven Sorcerer with some kickass Storm-something bloodline that gives him sweet powers. He temporarily names his character Greeble, even though we told him it was a goblin name and…. well, David isn’t all that bright.

Greeble’s (blech) character arrives with a new charter for us on top of the exploration charter we currently have, asking for us to clear a forested portion of the land from traps that are strewn about, and to eliminate any bandit forces in the area in the hopes that we may build our own township. Sounded like a fucking rad idea, so we head out and did just so. Lark and Greeble’s perception skills were so high that we EASILY uncovered and deactivated all of the traps we encountered.

At the end of the forest, we find ourselves in a section of the wood with sparse trees and vegetation. Dusk settles and we dismount from our horses to make camp, but Lark notices something strange on the horizon. With remarkable speed, the creature reveals itself as a Giant Centipede, and IT. WAS. HUNGRY.

To be fair, I too would've been tempted for a piece of this.

With a few meager ranged attacks, the centipede charges at just under 100 feet in one move action and dives straight for our horses. Being quite fond of my Billy, I blazed the way to the creature’s twin tails and attempted to hack off one of them before it could be used to whip at my fellows. It didn’t work, but I clearly got its attention. A few more turns of us whacking at him, and he hits Vash. HARD. One attack caused a 14 point damage, and I only had 13 >.> So yeah, I was down and out.

Amazingly, Lark came to the rescue once again and nailed a critical attack on the centipede with his newly acquired Ranseur, and killed the motherfucker dead before it could devour me. One successful heal check later, and I’m barely conscious.

"That was... intense. But I'm alive! I can't complain about that!"
"True, but.... you have no more pants."
"Yep. No complaints whatsoever..."

In short Vash got fucked up by a Giant Centipede, and my ass got saved by my new best friend Lark.

We continued on for a few days as my HP slowly increased back to normal, and we encounter a man named Joral who was hunting for his family. He didn’t much like our intrusion nor was he in a mood to talk, so we left just as quickly as we arrived.

Our last area we explored was a natural hot spring, much to the delight of everyone. Problem was, there were some giant frogs inhabiting the springs. Not many rounds later, both Giant Frogs we encountered were crit’ed to death by Ottaman and Lark. Vash celebrated the 8-hour gaming session and the scouring of the hot springs by taking a well deserved skinny-dip.

"I regret nothing!"

It was a very intense session, but a very fun one. Sadly, the group won’t be able to play together again for another three weeks due to various other commitments D: So we won’t be seeing another update for awhile. But fear not, the San Diego D&D Group meets up this Friday, and yours truly will try out some 6th Level 4e demos.

I know, most of you will complain. But it is still a great excuse to roll some more dice on a weekly basis.

 

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Randomly conceived dialogue

OUTSKIRTS OF OBNINSK, RUSSIA; NOVEMBER 2, 10:54PM

“It’s not as we had planned.”

“What are you talking about? The briefing said–”

“The briefing stated that all objectives were accomplished, but because of that, a bigger problem arose. The project Pheonix Flame was destroyed, but it was discovered that the program was only a copy.”

“A copy?”

“Yes. Which means that the master copy is still deep in the Russian vaults and there is no chance that we can get our hands on it even if we were the Prime Minister.”

“This has to be a lie, Vincent. I was there with you myself, we BOTH destroyed it! Together!”

“It wasn’t the master copy, Clark. It was a simple copy, and an incomplete one at that.”

“How do you know all this?”

“One of the Intel reports from a third insider at the complex sent us transcriptions from General Nikev speaking with another person on the phone, urging him to move the project before we could infiltrate.”

“You’re saying that someone ratted us out.”

“I’m saying that you did.”

Loveline Commentary and Hillbilly Romance

It’s almost 10pm on a weeknight that isn’t Friday, and you know what that means: Loveline!

I’ve been hooked on the show since my late middle school years in San Diego, when I would just chill with my brother as he listened on the radio. That might sound a bit young for a Loveline listener, but hell if it didn’t teach me a lot about sex, drug addictions, and how stupid most teenagers are about either. It was both a source of information and entertainment for me, and since I’ve moved back into San Diego I made it a point to start listening to the show again.

If you have a radio station that broadcasts Loveline (you should check on their website – http://www.lovelineshow.com/stationfinder), I would encourage you to give it a listen. They have a special guest every night, usually a musician, comedian or actor (or all three!).

Just for fun, I’ll try and commentate on the show for tonight, which is being blessed by the arrival and guest appearances of The Bad Girls Club. I’d link you to their page, but… it’s on a website made by the Oxygen network. It’d destroy the tiny, tiny masculine personality in me to directly link to that. Just use the Google machine.

9:50: Blog post up to this point is finished. Update is pointless. Move along.

10:01: Show begins! Psycho Mike introduces three of the “BGC” girls and they gossip. My interest is just as “meh” as I expected.

10:06: First call of the day is a concerned boyfriend who has a 15 y.o girlfriend who claims she hasn’t had a period in two years. That’s a pretty amazing superpower.

10:09: Second call is a boyfriend who claims that her girlfriend thoroughly enjoys being beaten by a cane during sex and snorting cocaine as she climaxes. Welcome to Loveline.

10:26: The ladies of BGC drop the F-bomb for maybe the fourth time, and blame their “salsa-like mouths” for their language. I want to sort of slap these women.

10:31: How come I’m getting radio commercials broadcasted by the Mexican federal government? In ENGLISH?! Your commercials are in America, damnit, speak Spanish. I mean… ow, head hurts.

10:57: Just learned from Dr. Drew that if an older woman sounds much younger, chances are they’ve been abused in the past, whether sexually or any other means. Interesting.

11:00: First three girls leave, remaining four enter the show. Let’s hope they aren’t as… *sigh*…. “salsa-mouthed.”

11:23: Hillbilly from Idaho is asking if he should have a relationship with his step-sister, but I’m distracted by the hillbilly music playing softly in the background. I’m more amused then I should be.

11:50: Girlfriend came home about twenty minutes ago so I stopped paying close attention.

All in all: amusing calls, annoying-ass girls, and a special appearance by Spencer Pratt.

Music: "Shut Up And Let Me Go" - The Ting Things

I hope he Googles this :P

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Tell me to fuck off, will ya….

BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN BARAK GOLDMAN

A Brief Description of Star Wars Day

...Or else this lightsaber goes up your ass.

It was a joyous day for nerds across the galaxy.

Intergalactic Star Wars Day, also recognized by “normal” people as May 4th, is a holiday made by fans and for fans to celebrate Star Wars and its many inspiring characters, diverse planetary systems, quirky droids, and powerful space ships. Since the inception of the franchise in 1977, fans young and old have increasingly delved themselves in the Star Wars universe, inspiring novels and video games based on their all-time favorite movie.

This year, the nerd-bridled holiday will take on a special significance. 30 years ago was the theatrical release of ‘The Empire Strikes Back’, one of the most famously anticipated sequels of all time. ‘Empire’ brought in new pivotal characters of great importance to the series, such as the wise old Jedi Master Yoda, the dangerous bounty hunter Boba Fett, the suave and charming Lando Calrissian, and the evil and tyrannical Emperor Palpatine. Aside from the new slew of characters, the most mind-boggling plot twist in the story took place in this sequel, when Darth Vader tells Luke Skywalker the terrible truth of their familial relationship.

You mean the hot girl that I.... NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

To a typical nerd, May 4th is a day for them to publicly come out to the world of their affection for the movie series. Many wear costumes, host movie screenings, or duel with toy lightsabers at the nearest park. It is a day long anticipated each year, even to this writer.

My ideal Star Wars party would not only include movie screenings and lightsaber dueling, but also a themed dinner. Blue milk, Cream of Womprat soup, fried Mynock wings, Gizka steak, and a nice warm slice of Bilaberry Patooga. Mmm…. Patooga. I’m getting hungry.

No matter what planet you’re on, what species you are, or whether your allegiance lies with the Rebel Alliance or the Galactic Empire, I wish all of you had a very eventful and magical Star Wars Day.

May the 4th be with you. Always.

Here it is, your moment of LOL

It's an eagle, and a bird

LOL

Pick a card, any card…. except that one…

"Is this your card? What do you mean, you don't want it back?"

As everyone experiences, I’m sure, I’ve fallen into another phase of being highly entertained by things that interest me. Card tricks have always been a fun little thing for me to observe, but after watching a few simple tutorials, I now know how to do the most basic card tricks myself. I’m no David Blaine or anything (who the hell would want to be?), but it helps that I have gullible easily amused friends.

I’ve learned most of what I know from one particular YouTube channel that’s operated┬áby a man named Andy Field. He’s a professional card trick-dude in the UK and shows some of his stuff online, as well as some tutorials on choice tricks for others to learn. I hardly reckon that I’ll get enough experience to do the complicated stuff, but it’s still fun to watch and who knows, maybe if something fascinates me enough I’ll give it a shot.

In other, less mildly interesting news, I’m slowly starting to get back into the writing scene again, thanks in most part to my scriptwriting class. Our last big project is a 10-page screenplay, based on any story that we come up with. I’ve decided to bring an old action/adventure v. medieval fantasy story I was writing back in high school to use it for such a project, and it’s making think a lot more about the plot and what happens after what I have written already (which isn’t terribly much). I’m hoping that, once I polish this in a script format, that I might even have the courage to go further than ten pages and just go for as long as my will takes me.

One of these days, while I’m going through some pages of info about the story, I’ll start posting them here to show you all what I’m up to.

Music: "Stand By Your Man" - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes